To BW or not to BW...or to BW?

When Luke was born nine years ago, I knew nothing of scheduling babies.  By the time Cade was born, I had heard of Baby-Wise, but I didn't really want anything to do with it as I'd read many different criticisms of the author.  So I was flying by the seat of my pants.

Luke didn't have a routine until he was about seven or eight months old, though he slept through the night consistently from eight weeks.  He just slept in his bouncy seat or the swing or the carseat when he was tired.  I fed him every few hours, and he did just fine.  I was doing fine too after he was sleeping through the night. 

Cade had no routine either and often slept in the swing.  He was a tough one to get to sleep at night, but he did sleep through the night consistently from ten weeks old.  His routine started when we were spending the summer in Arizona (yes, we drove across the country from PA to AZ with a three year old and a four month old; yes, we were crazy!) and I spent the day at home pretty much all day, every day.  His routine at that point consisted of a nap in the car while driving Daddy to work, a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and a quick cat nap in the car while picking Daddy up from work.  It worked.  And he thrived (seriously, he was 23 pounds at the age of 5 months...and I was practically wasting away!).

When Elsa came along, it seemed like everybody I knew was "doing Baby-Wise" and I figured that I would too...at least, after the first few weeks.  But I hated the idea of her crying to go down for a nap.  And I did let her sometimes, but I was SO THANKFUL when she found her thumb around three months.  Although she slept through the night even earlier than the boys - 7 weeks, I think - she was a fabulous sleeper after she took control of her thumb.  But BW stressed me out, at least at the beginning.  I was so hung up on times and not sticking to the routine.

So this time I decided that I was just going to go with the flow and forget about BW and TRY to enjoy these early months (I am so NOT a newborn-person and would much prefer to start off at 6 months or so!!).  Well, that lasted about two weeks before I decided that I couldn't hold the baby all the time, and I couldn't nurse her 24/7 either.  And once school starts in the fall, I will very much need her to be taking regular naps in her bed!

So, enter Baby Whisperer.  I had read one of the Baby Whisperer books when Elsa was a baby, but to me it seemed so complicated and fussy that I just returned it to the library and never gave it another thought.

Turns out that this time I decided to give it another shot.  And it's been much more helpful this go-round.  

Sure, we're not on the 3-hour routine right now, but we just can't get there yet.  Caroline has been sleeping long stretches at night - six plus hours sometimes - for the last week, and I don't feel comfortable letting her go three hours between feedings all day at this point.  We still need to get those 8 or 9 feedings in!  When we go for her one-month visit on Monday, we'll see what her weight is and see if we need to start waking her earlier during the night.  I remember when Luke started sleeping six hours before one month and I asked the pediatrician if I should be waking him, he laughed and said, "Are you kidding?  I have parents who would kill for six hours of sleep!"  But he was gaining well, and we had no worries.  We'll have to see how Caroline is doing on her weight gain.

Anyway, the four S routine at naptime seems to be working pretty well, and although I'm tired-to-death of shush-patting, it's working.  And I realized that it's helping me to know my baby better.  I'm seeing patterns in her wind-down before sleeping, and it's so encouraging to feel like I know what to do next to help her learn to sleep on her own. 

It's kind of funny because even though I've seen her patterns a number of times, I continue to doubt that she'll follow it again "this time."  She almost always is frantic at first when I swaddle her and sit with her.  But then she calms and when I put her down, she stays calm for a while, just looking around. But then...just before she's ready to "let go"...she starts wailing and flailing (or trying to flail inside the swaddle), and I'm SO tempted to pick her up.  Ok, sometimes I do because I'm doubting that she will work through it and nod off.  But even if I do pick her up and start patting a little quicker and shushing a little louder, she soon calms and I put her down again.  She goes into a deep sleep within a minute or two.  And if I don't pick her up, I just pat a bit quicker and shush louder and closer to her, and she calms, gives two little sighs and heads off to dreamland.

Wow.  Just the fact that I've been able to observe all of that and get to know her better amazes me.  I'm not thrilled that the whole process takes 15-20 minutes most of the time...or 45 minutes last evening (but I persisted and she went to sleep! I felt like it was a major coup!), but it's working.  

Still, I hope she finds her thumb in another month or two...and I will be done with having to "shush" until I'm parched!!